A solid foundation

Sermon preached at Evensong & Benediction, Easter 4, Year 1, May 3, 2009

I often use the example of the wise and foolish house builders from today’s Gospel passage when I officiate and preach at a wedding. I think that the passage works well with trying to live out the vows the couple makes to each other. Its more common than you might think for couple to ask to write their own vows at a wedding. Often the vows that people want to make are things that are impossible to live up to.

A few examples that I have heard:
I promise to show you my love for you every day of my life.
I promise to bring you flowers when you are sad.
I promise to remember every birthday and anniversary.
I promise to be there whenever you need me.
I promise that we will never disagree again.

I always steer couples toward the vows in the BCP, by explaining that these things sound nice and some of them may be very sentimental, but honestly, after 5 years of marriage, I can tell you that, if any of those were vows I had made, I would have broken all of them – many, many times.

Sentimental things don’t necessarily last. Every husband will forget to bring flowers more than once. Every couple will have very painful arguments. In the same way, many things that people think are essential also don’t always last. Money and a great job sometimes disappear. Physical looks change and fade as decades pass. Everyone eventually develops health issues. To build a marriage on any one of those things, to vow to do something that cannot realistically be done is no different than building a house on a foundation of sand. The foundation isn’t solid and the house will eventually fall down.

What doesn’t change, fade or end is the love that God has for each of us. By dying and rising from the grave, Jesus conquered all the powers of this world, including death and by his rising we know that not even death can separate us from the love of God. Modeling a marriage on the love that God has for each us is like building a house on a rock solid foundation. I encourage couples to understand that the vows the church authorizes recognize that life changes, but with the help of God, love can continue to grow through those changes.

I know that not every person here is married. I know that many people will never get married. Still, I believe this image can be used by every single one of us in every relationship that we have. Looking at each other less with eyes that see only temporary details and more and more as a co-heir in Christ and a child of God makes all the difference in the world. My marriage has been greatly helped by the fact that it was built on the foundation of Jesus Christ and his love for all people. May the Holy Spirit fill us all so that we can begin to build all of our relationships on the love of God and see and treat every person as a child of God.